Thursday, April 30, 2009

So thankful

You know those moments in your life where it becomes so blatantly apparent that God is completely in control? And you wonder, why have I been trying to do all of this on my own? Well I think that I have come to that realization today. I have always been taught to put everything in God's hands and that he has a plan. But it's so hard to do. I have a hard time just turning everything over to him and relinquishing all of my control. But sitting here in the hospital, doing everything that I am supposed to be doing, I have become very comfortable with the idea that He is in charge. High blood pressure is a funny thing in that when you find out you have a problem, you stress out about it. Which in turn just drives the BP up- so what do you do? Well, you hit your knees and pray. Raymond and I have felt the powers of all of your prayers and thoughts and love more than ever in the last 48 hours.
My condition has taken a slight turn for the worse- I checked into the hospital with a blood pressure problem and under the idea that I was here for mere observation and to make sure our sweet baby girl is okay. But that problem has escalated into what they have determined to be pre-eclampsia. I am spilling proteins into my urine, I have a never subsiding headache, dizziness, seeing stars, swelling, etc. All of this has the medical staff on their p's and q's making sure that my condition does not worsen. The problem with pre-eclampsia is that the only cure is delivery. But thankfully, the problems go away once the baby comes out. The condition can stay the exact same as it is right now for the rest of the pregnancy, or it could worsen in a 24 our period. I will be going to the doctor twice a week from here on out and they have put me on bed rest. The doctor would rather me be on bed rest, but still be able to get up and move around the house- even doing some light cooking- instead of trying to work and then not being able to do a single thing once I get home. I have resided to the fact that I am at the mercy of my God and I am trusting Him to take care of everything. We hope to go home tomorrow and finally get some rest. At this point, the chances of me carrying Georgia to 34 weeks is really good. The chances of me carrying her to the original 37 weeks is about 50/50. My doctor said we will go as long as we can and he won't take her any earlier as long as my condition is stable. But our baby girl will be here in just a few weeks either way. It just blows my mind that in no time I will be able to kiss my sweet angel and hold her in my arms. I don't think that Raymond nor myself will ever let her go.
My ever diligent husband has been absolutely amazing. I know all of you that know Raymond know him to be a strong and loving person, but I don't think that I can ever express in words how much he has done for me the past few days. Heck, this entire pregnancy. I have never even wondered why God brought him into my life, but I am so very thankful. I do wonder how I got to be so deserving of such an amazing and incredible man. He is my rock and my source of strength. He doesn't sleep because he is too busy watching my baby monitor making sure Georgia stays on track. He is monitoring the input and output of my fluids closer than the medical team. He is on top of when I am due for my meds and calling the nurses. Last night he crawled into bed with me and spooned me because it was the only way I could get to sleep. He lays beside me in an uncomfortable chair so he can be next to me holding my hand. He is up and unplugging me for my frequent trips to the bathroom before I can even ask. He is going on absolutely no sleep, and has not for one moment begun to complain. When I start to feel bad for myself about how uncomfortable I am I feel so ashamed because he has given and continues to give unconditionally. Its so amazing that when we feel we don't have the energy to hear anymore bad news, how he swoops in and makes me feel so much better. I am so blessed and I can't imagine going through this with anyone else. He is going to be an incredible father and I hope Georgia always knows how much her daddy loves her. My mom and mother in law have also been amazing sources of strength throughout all of this- both of them have been here making sure Raymond and I want for nothing. We couldn't have done this without either of you. Thank you so much for being there.
As our stay here is hopefully ending soon, we are also so thankful for the wonderful care we have received here! The Birthplace here at Baptist is amazing and I am so glad this is where we have decided to have our baby.
Thanks again for all of your unwavering support and love. Your continued prayers are much appreciated- please also keep our furbaby in your prayers as she is at the kennel getting pampered! We are ready to go get her tomorrow and have our family complete.
Going to try and get some sleep now- love to you all!

Fear you not; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; yes, I will help you; yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness.
-Isaiah 41:10

Charlotte, Raymond, Georgia and Tellie.

3 comments:

  1. Awww that is the sweetest bog about Dad!!! I lost it when I read the spooning part...It made me start crying and that is not good because I think I almost washed my spray tan off!! I didn't get to come today and won't get to see you before you go home, but i am constantly thinking and praying about you and gigi!!! Love you all!!!

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  2. Coming from someone who was told her son had less than a 5% chance of survival (at 16 weeks into the pregnancy)...and yet after 20 weeks of strict bedrest I held that sweet, perfectly healthy newborn boy in my arms, I can tell you without a doubt that God is very much in control and you and Georgia are going to be okay! This too shall pass and all of the frustrations and fears of today will be wiped clean by the joy in your heart and soul when you hear Georgia cry for the first time. I'm tearing up now just thinking about how that was for us. We are praying for y'all and definitely have Georgia on my mind. :)

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what are you observing these days????