Well, no, I'm not actually going to Brooklyn...but I am going on no sleep. Despite having no sleep last night, we had a wonderful visit from Uncle Dee and Aunt Ree-Ree (Maureen) today. They stopped by today on their way to Charlotte to see Baby G and brought Georgia a gift and lots of love- it's a beautiful linen pillow with smocking on it and her name, birth date and Bible verse on it....it's beautiful. We also got a book that has animal sounds- it's wonderful!!!! Georgia LOVES getting presents!!!!!
Tonight we are going to one of my bestie's birthday party...my Erbos turned 24 yesterday!!! Love you girl!!!! This is an exciting birthday for her because it's her last as Erin Middlebrooks!!!!! She got engaged last week and is getting married in March!!!! Georgia is so excited for her Aunt Erin and Uncle Jake!!!! We can't wait tonight to celebrate with them!!!! We will also be able to show Miss G off to everyone and Georgia's Aunt Callie will be there as well to join in on the festivities!!! We will also have a drink to celebrate Aunt Callie's birthday as well since I was in the hospital at the time of her festivities.....Georgia is so very lucky to have two wonderful women who love her so!!!! She will get showered with plenty of kisses tonight I am sure of that. I will post pictures as soon as we get back!!
Tomorrow out very dear friends T and MB will officially become our neighbors!! Well, town neighbors. They will be right down the road from us and we are so freaking excited to have them out here!!! Raymond is helping them move and tomorrow we will go over there and help break in the new home!! It's an adorable home and I know that they will be so incredibly happy there. We can't wait to start having them over more often!!!
Sunday will be a mommy day for me at the pool....Raymond is the best : )
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!!!!
Love and kisses to you all!
Charlotte and Georgia
Friday, June 26, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Poor GOP
So, I have read some people's blogs where they have had to actually make a statement that says...."This is my blog, and if you don't like what you are reading, don't read...." I always thought, hmm, are people that concerned with what other people, probably even people they don't even know, are talking about???? What has this world come to that I can't write about what I want to write about? I thought that was the whole purpose of free speech.....SO, for the record, I am now (shockingly) having to make this statement myself:
This is my blog, and I will write about what I want to write about. If you don't like the topic that I choose to discuss, or you think I share too much or am too opinionated or I haven't been equal in my attention, I have a simple solution: Don't read it please. It's amazing to see how someone can take a blog post and turn it around to be about them, when in actuality, my blogs are harmless and completely relevant to my life. So please leave it be. Some people are so funny- what I choose to write about has actually nothing to do with you. Believe it or not, most everything I write about has to do with something that is going on in my life with my family and I think the old saying goes something like this, mind your own business and it's not always about you.....those are two very appropriate ones for this post.
Think this is a bit harsh? Well I certainly do apologize but I tend to get a tad heated when someone has the audacity to comment about my blog and thinking that I shouldn't write about certain things or people. Or vice versa. I don't sugar coat things in real life, so I am most certainly not going to do them in blog world.
With that said......Just a recap about the drama that has been going on with the GOP
Last week Rusty Depass was RAKED across the coals for making a stupid (albeit funny) statement on his facebook status about the gorilla that was loose at the Riverbanks Zoo. It was a harmless statement and it later became clear that the joke had an alternative meaning linking it back to Michelle Obama. Well, people, I have news for you, I will never believe that a stupid joke like that required Mr. Depass to make a public apology to the NAACP, write a letter to Michelle Obama and to have his name dragged through the mud. Get over yourselves. It's absolutely infuriating to me to think that he had to go through all of that. Mr. Depass is a God fearing, church going man who is an upstanding citizen and has done a lot of good for the GOP. I am sure he had no idea the repercussions of his actions, as most of us don't sometimes, but I think the consequences taken upon him were completely out of line and way too harsh. I know that sooner or later, it will be old news, but it's hard to see past the harsh headlines and seeing a good man's name tarnished. Because in the South, it's not just you that your actions affect, you have a last name, and down here your last name holds just as much bearing as your credit score.
Second, I can only imagine how this whole soap opera with Mark Sanford will play out over national headlines, but I hope that the liberal media will give him and his family the privacy they need right now. I can only hope that the First Lady and her children will be sheltered from some of this craziness. I hope that Gov Sanford can work with his family and friends and get back some of the trust and respect that they will need to be a functioning family. I am curious to see how all of it plays out and I always wonder how flippant a politicians actions can be. I am sure that they are much more calculated than we give them credit for (sometimes.) I hope that he will give more thought to his actions in the future- for the sake of his children. Infidelity is a hard pill to swallow and he will have to live with this forever. Let's just see how this all plays out....
Thank you all to my faithful followers. I started this blog as a way to communicate with family but it has turned into so much more for me. It's an outlet that at the end of the day I can vent through. I have always been a big "journaler" and I love writing. I also love talking, and so this is the best of both worlds. I also love having a portal through which I can tell you about my wonderful family and friends, and pay tribute to those that I love and care about so much. How fun is it having a shout out to you?!? It's like having your name called out on the radio or something! I love it when my fellow bloggers take time to make a note about me, or comment/compliment me on my posts. I also love having something that my children will be able to look back and see how I have tracked my life and theirs. That's why I have this blog. For me.
Fondly,
Charlotte
This is my blog, and I will write about what I want to write about. If you don't like the topic that I choose to discuss, or you think I share too much or am too opinionated or I haven't been equal in my attention, I have a simple solution: Don't read it please. It's amazing to see how someone can take a blog post and turn it around to be about them, when in actuality, my blogs are harmless and completely relevant to my life. So please leave it be. Some people are so funny- what I choose to write about has actually nothing to do with you. Believe it or not, most everything I write about has to do with something that is going on in my life with my family and I think the old saying goes something like this, mind your own business and it's not always about you.....those are two very appropriate ones for this post.
Think this is a bit harsh? Well I certainly do apologize but I tend to get a tad heated when someone has the audacity to comment about my blog and thinking that I shouldn't write about certain things or people. Or vice versa. I don't sugar coat things in real life, so I am most certainly not going to do them in blog world.
With that said......Just a recap about the drama that has been going on with the GOP
Last week Rusty Depass was RAKED across the coals for making a stupid (albeit funny) statement on his facebook status about the gorilla that was loose at the Riverbanks Zoo. It was a harmless statement and it later became clear that the joke had an alternative meaning linking it back to Michelle Obama. Well, people, I have news for you, I will never believe that a stupid joke like that required Mr. Depass to make a public apology to the NAACP, write a letter to Michelle Obama and to have his name dragged through the mud. Get over yourselves. It's absolutely infuriating to me to think that he had to go through all of that. Mr. Depass is a God fearing, church going man who is an upstanding citizen and has done a lot of good for the GOP. I am sure he had no idea the repercussions of his actions, as most of us don't sometimes, but I think the consequences taken upon him were completely out of line and way too harsh. I know that sooner or later, it will be old news, but it's hard to see past the harsh headlines and seeing a good man's name tarnished. Because in the South, it's not just you that your actions affect, you have a last name, and down here your last name holds just as much bearing as your credit score.
Second, I can only imagine how this whole soap opera with Mark Sanford will play out over national headlines, but I hope that the liberal media will give him and his family the privacy they need right now. I can only hope that the First Lady and her children will be sheltered from some of this craziness. I hope that Gov Sanford can work with his family and friends and get back some of the trust and respect that they will need to be a functioning family. I am curious to see how all of it plays out and I always wonder how flippant a politicians actions can be. I am sure that they are much more calculated than we give them credit for (sometimes.) I hope that he will give more thought to his actions in the future- for the sake of his children. Infidelity is a hard pill to swallow and he will have to live with this forever. Let's just see how this all plays out....
Thank you all to my faithful followers. I started this blog as a way to communicate with family but it has turned into so much more for me. It's an outlet that at the end of the day I can vent through. I have always been a big "journaler" and I love writing. I also love talking, and so this is the best of both worlds. I also love having a portal through which I can tell you about my wonderful family and friends, and pay tribute to those that I love and care about so much. How fun is it having a shout out to you?!? It's like having your name called out on the radio or something! I love it when my fellow bloggers take time to make a note about me, or comment/compliment me on my posts. I also love having something that my children will be able to look back and see how I have tracked my life and theirs. That's why I have this blog. For me.
Fondly,
Charlotte
Monday, June 22, 2009
Happy Fathers Day
So my post is a little belated, but the days just slip away and I have no idea where my time goes!! So here it is...a tribute to my husband.
Dear Raymond,
On your very first Father's Day I just want you to know how proud I am to be your partner in life, marriage, and now parenthood. You are an incredible man with an amazing spirit. I depend on you so much that I don't know where I would be (or my sanity for that matter) without you! You are so strong and I thank you for carrying me through some of the toughest times we've experienced together in the past few months. I couldn't have done it without you.
It seems like yesterday I was 18 and a freshman in college and going on a blind date with a guy from The Citadel. Never in a million years did I imagine that we would be standing here today, married and with a beautiful baby girl. You have made me the happiest woman in the world and I thank God for every morning that I get to wake up with you. You make me laugh with your never dampening personality, you lift my spirits after a bad day with your bottomless encouragement, and you protect me (and now Georgia) from any harm you think might come my way. You are a wonderful provider and I love you for that.
Thank you for choosing me to go on this incredible journey with you. I look forward to all of the many years we will have together. Watching our children grow and learn. Watching each other accept rewards and overcoming defeat, and being there to pick each other up when we feel like we can't go on. You make me want to be a better person, wife and mother. Thank you for giving me my fairy tale dream come true. My heart is yours forever,
Charlotte
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Rest in Peace Chelsea
Two years since we have last seen your beautiful face. 730 days since you have left this Earth. That equals to 17,520 hours (roughly) since you have smiled, made anyone laugh, cried over having a bad day, or better yet.....worked at shift at the Wing. It has been this long since my dear friend Chelsea Amber Tumbleston left this world. Left this world too soon. Up until this year I just grieved over the loss of a friend, and a life that ended tragically. But this year I have an entirely different perspective on it. I cannot imagine the pain and heartbreak that one would have after losing a child. I don't know how you would ever pick up the pieces and move on. I pray every day for the healing of her mama's heart. I say this now as I look upon my sleeping baby girl. The thought of living one moment in this life without her sends a sharp pain to my soul. Chelsea was an amazing person and her loss is still felt tremendously two years later. Her tragic story just cements even more how precious life is and how I, nor any of us, can take a single second for granted. I think about her all the time, and before Chelsea, I was never a big believer in guardian angels. But I can feel her with me at times and during my pregnancy there were times when I would call out to her to just keep an eye over me and my precious one. At the time of her death, I wondered how many of us would go back to doing things that normally included Chelsea and it not feel weird. I worried that life would sweep us all up in all of its craziness and we would somehow become used to the picture of her not being here. But that hasn't happened. There is not a single time goes by that I don't walk back into Wild Wings and not think of Chelsea and all of the wonderful memories that I have of her. I was only fortunate enough to know her for a few years, but she was a fireball and I am so thankful for getting to know her in this short life we all have. Rest in peace baby girl, now and forever.
Chelsea Amber Tumbleston
January 10, 1986-June 20, 2007
"You and I will meet again, When we're least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again."
-Tom Petty
Monday, June 15, 2009
Tummy Time
So this is my ladybug SUPPOSEDLY participating in tummy time........
Guess she's a lot more like her mama than I thought.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Sleep Deprivation 101
Hello all!!
Sorry I have been MIA......we are happy to report that we brought Baby Georgia home on Thursday June 11. I have been meaning to post some updates, but the last week and a half has been pretty tough on us.
In a nutshell as most of you know, our angel had to go to the NICU due to some breathing problems. We had hoped that her stay would be short and while it was still short compared to most of the babies up there (I tend to feel really guilty when I say this), it was still too long. I think it has to be by far the most unnatural feeling for a mama to have to leave the hospital without her baby. Raymond and I did really well the first couple of days she was in there, mainly I guess because we were still in the hospital as well. But having to go home and sit in her nursery without her in there, was just heartbreaking. I really started to crumble at the beginning of last week when I just felt like we were going nowhere. The doctors up there are amazing, but it was so difficult for a doctor to look you in the eye and say that they don't know when you can go home. I tried to remain positive and upbeat, and Raymond and I relied on each other more than we ever had at that point. I am so incredibly thankful for such an amazing husband and a strong marriage. I could never have gotten through that without him or the rest of our family. We have an amazing support team and they continue to amaze us every day. We prayed constantly, and I learned such a valuable lesson in all of this. That I have to continue to be thankful and diligent in my praise even after my prayers are granted. I think all too often we fall into the trap of praying only when we need something, or before meals. I now find myself praying in the morning when I wake up, when I am in the shower, when I am washing dishes, when I am feeding Georgia, or when Raymond and I are turning in for the night. I have definitely been brought to my knees in all of this and my faith has been shaken to the very core. But in every dark hour there is a beautiful morning to come. Thursday when we walked out of that hospital with our baby I finally felt my family was complete. My joy was slightly cut short when we walked by all of the other rooms with the babies in there. My heart tugged for all of those parents that have yet to be able to experience the elation that Raymond and I were experiencing at that moment. So I continue my diligent prayer for all of those precious children that we left behind. I am so thankful for the wonderful NICU staff and the beautiful facility they built last August. Each baby gets their own room with a bed for Mom and Dad. They also have showers up there complete with a blow dryer!! We didn't spend the night up there as they encourage you to go home and get some rest (if that's possible) but we were up there from sun up to sun down every day and it was so nice to have a tv and a comfy place to bond with our baby. They also have an amazing ministry called Caring Casseroles that provides casseroles to the families up there so you don't have to worry about cooking when you go home. We came home on Thursday with a yummy dish that we have been eating on for several meals! Such a wonderful treat!
We made it through the first day without any (major) catastrophies! Although, Georgia has decided that she likes to be up from about 2-5. Other than that, she eats and sleeps like a CHAMP! We went to the pediatrician on Friday and her weight gain looks great. We will go back tomorrow for her official 2 week checkup and mama can finally get behind the wheel of a car again!!!!! It has been about a month and a half since I have driven my car so I am pretty excited! I feel like a teenager all over again! This weekend has gone pretty smooth and we are so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family. We have had some visitors and luckily they have given us a little relief so we have been able to shower/get some rest. I am so thankful!! I will continue to post in between naps and catching up on housework!
Much love to all of you out there!!
Love, the (once again) Happy Hamilton's
Sorry I have been MIA......we are happy to report that we brought Baby Georgia home on Thursday June 11. I have been meaning to post some updates, but the last week and a half has been pretty tough on us.
In a nutshell as most of you know, our angel had to go to the NICU due to some breathing problems. We had hoped that her stay would be short and while it was still short compared to most of the babies up there (I tend to feel really guilty when I say this), it was still too long. I think it has to be by far the most unnatural feeling for a mama to have to leave the hospital without her baby. Raymond and I did really well the first couple of days she was in there, mainly I guess because we were still in the hospital as well. But having to go home and sit in her nursery without her in there, was just heartbreaking. I really started to crumble at the beginning of last week when I just felt like we were going nowhere. The doctors up there are amazing, but it was so difficult for a doctor to look you in the eye and say that they don't know when you can go home. I tried to remain positive and upbeat, and Raymond and I relied on each other more than we ever had at that point. I am so incredibly thankful for such an amazing husband and a strong marriage. I could never have gotten through that without him or the rest of our family. We have an amazing support team and they continue to amaze us every day. We prayed constantly, and I learned such a valuable lesson in all of this. That I have to continue to be thankful and diligent in my praise even after my prayers are granted. I think all too often we fall into the trap of praying only when we need something, or before meals. I now find myself praying in the morning when I wake up, when I am in the shower, when I am washing dishes, when I am feeding Georgia, or when Raymond and I are turning in for the night. I have definitely been brought to my knees in all of this and my faith has been shaken to the very core. But in every dark hour there is a beautiful morning to come. Thursday when we walked out of that hospital with our baby I finally felt my family was complete. My joy was slightly cut short when we walked by all of the other rooms with the babies in there. My heart tugged for all of those parents that have yet to be able to experience the elation that Raymond and I were experiencing at that moment. So I continue my diligent prayer for all of those precious children that we left behind. I am so thankful for the wonderful NICU staff and the beautiful facility they built last August. Each baby gets their own room with a bed for Mom and Dad. They also have showers up there complete with a blow dryer!! We didn't spend the night up there as they encourage you to go home and get some rest (if that's possible) but we were up there from sun up to sun down every day and it was so nice to have a tv and a comfy place to bond with our baby. They also have an amazing ministry called Caring Casseroles that provides casseroles to the families up there so you don't have to worry about cooking when you go home. We came home on Thursday with a yummy dish that we have been eating on for several meals! Such a wonderful treat!
We made it through the first day without any (major) catastrophies! Although, Georgia has decided that she likes to be up from about 2-5. Other than that, she eats and sleeps like a CHAMP! We went to the pediatrician on Friday and her weight gain looks great. We will go back tomorrow for her official 2 week checkup and mama can finally get behind the wheel of a car again!!!!! It has been about a month and a half since I have driven my car so I am pretty excited! I feel like a teenager all over again! This weekend has gone pretty smooth and we are so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family. We have had some visitors and luckily they have given us a little relief so we have been able to shower/get some rest. I am so thankful!! I will continue to post in between naps and catching up on housework!
Much love to all of you out there!!
Love, the (once again) Happy Hamilton's
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Leaps and Bounds
So this morning we went to visit our baby girl and were so thrilled to see that her CPAP had been removed. This is the big tube that was pushing oxygen into her lungs. I apologize to all of your medical folk out there for my potential inaccuracies in describing the equipment.....They had replaced this with a smaller tube that is not giving her any oxygen but just room air and helping her stabilize her breathing. They have been giving her formula and slowly increasing the amount they feed her. At her last feeding at 3 they gave her 20 cc's and she took all of it beautifully. They are going to try 25 at 6 and hopefully they will decrease her IV tonight as well if she continues to take the formula. The staff is so pleased with her progress and hope that she continues on the path that she is. We just need her breathing to slow down a bit more and we can start introducing bottles/direct feeding to her. I have started pumping and so that has been interesting!! I could probably do an entire blog just on that! I am trying to roll over my laisse faire attitude and just be patient with the whole process. I received the best gift this morning when the NICU nurse took Georgia off of all her monitors and let me and Raymond hold our precious angel. It was by far the most incredible moment in my life. I will treasure it forever. I don't think that I could ever express in words how wonderful my heart felt at that moment. She is so beautiful and so perfect and I am already the proudest mama on the block! Now we will just wait patiently to bring her home and introduce her to her "Big Sister" Tellie and have our little family complete!!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
She's here!!!
We are proud to announce the arrival of
Georgia Cauthen Hamilton
Born on June 1, 2009 at 2:54 weighing in at 7 pounds even and measuring 19 1/4 inches long.
Our beautiful bundle of joy is thriving and doing well! I am slowly adjusting. I am definitely feeling some pain, but they are doing a great job at keeping me drugged up. I have yet to be able to hold my angel in that she is in the NICU and I am tied to my bed. We are hoping this afternoon I will be able to go over there! Raymond has been back and forth and has been able to spend lots of time with his little girl. The medical staff over there says she is doing incredibly well and her only issues are breathing- which is typical for a baby at 36 weeks born via C Section. We will definitely keep you posted as we have more updates! I will post more pictures soon!!
"Before you were conceived we wanted you. Before you were born we loved you. Before you were here an hour we would die for you. This, my child, is the miracle of life."
Love, Charlotte
Monday, June 1, 2009
And the "sleeplessness" continues.....
So it's definitely 4 am and I am definitely on my couch watching tv and well, obviously, blogging! I fell asleep early, and I thought that I would be nice and tuckered out after being in the sun all day, but I guess not. My husband and furbaby, on the other hand, are peacefully snoring away upstairs so I figured this would be a good way to pass the time. At least I am able to catch up on some tv before I leave for the hospital....I must add a new tv show to my list of trashy tv that I am newly addicted to.....
SOUTHERN BELLES on SoapNet. Ya'll it's hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had not heard of it until yesterday while watching The Soup on E! (another fave of ours). So I googled it and ran through my tv guide to see when it came on- it had a few reruns that aired last night so I recorded them so that's what I am watching right now. It's great. It's definitely a T Total Train wreck when it comes to reality tv. It's kinda Real Housewives meets True Life: I'm a Southern Belle (from MTV). A few of the girls are really cute and truly cute little belles of the ball, but a few of them aren't. One of them is 32, married into money, and a two time divorcee. Not that I'm judging, but this chick wants to start a matchmaking business. Seriously!?!?! Not exactly something my mama would say defines a typical Southern Lady. Which, for a few of these girls, I use this term loosely. One good thing is that they tend to have pretty good music that plays throughout the show. There are a few songs that I have tried to Google, but can't find a play list. All in all though, it's a reality tv show so you know no matter how bad it ever gets, I will continue to watch and be a faithful follower- blog about it, fb about it, etc.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, now onto the elephant in the room.....I would love to tell you that I am NOT nervous, that I am NOT anxious, or worried about tomorrow....but then again actions speak louder than words and I am up at 4 am watching tv and typing my feelings out into blog world. I think maybe it is finally hitting me that everything is about to change. Raymond and I were not able to attend an actual birthing class because the Head OB Nurse is out permanently on sick leave and it happened right before our scheduled class.....there weren't any classes over at the hospital so they gave us some taped birthing classes to watch. Maybe we're just a little laid back as far as "planners" but I guess when you have a planned C Section, the fears of the unknown pretty much go out the window. I haven't been worried about distinguishing between false labor and real labor, my water breaking in the middle of a grocery store, rushing to the hospital in the middle of the night or any other fears that someone following a more "Let Mother Nature take her own course plan" For the past 6 weeks, we have pretty much known that I would be having a planned section for the sake of my health and Georgia's. Anyways, Raymond and I watched the final video last night and my only fear that I have had is about getting a spinal. I've never had one, so I don't know what to expect. I think it's just that natural fear of the unknown. But they went through in explicit detail about all the different types of anesthesia used in labor and I do feel better. I think I was worried that it would be painful, but they say it's not. I also think that the whole idea of not being able to hold my daughter for a few hours after she's born saddens me a bit. It was explained to me that until I had come out of recovery and settled in my room, I wouldn't be able to see her- so I think I am just anxious about how long it will really take. Raymond and I have asked our families and friends to hold back for just a day before coming to meet our baby girl considering today will be a long and exhausting day for us both. And everything is so up in the air and unknown we decided it might be less stressful on us if it were just the two of us and that way we wouldn't be worried about introducing our beautiful bundle to the world until we had plenty of time with her. After being in the hospital twice already, we see how quickly we get overwhelmed and how much we just really appreciate our space. So we felt like this would be the best plan for us. I guess I feel like I have this one day to just take it all in, and I can't ever go back and recreate those first moments with her.
It feels like my wedding day all over again- when I was standing in the back of the church with the doors closed, my heart beating so fast, anticipating seeing my groom for the first time waiting down at the end of the aisle for me. It's a similar feeling in that it's a moment that I know I will relive in my mind over and over again and treasure forever. I just can't wait to hold her and kiss her and see what she looks like. I have dreamed about this moment for 32 weeks now (yes, I was that girl that found out she was pregnant at 4 weeks) and I am so thankful that God has brought me (us) this far.
Off to finish packing and get all the bags together so Raymond can pack the car! Hope you all have a Marvelous Monday!! See you all soon!!!
Love, Charlotte
SOUTHERN BELLES on SoapNet. Ya'll it's hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had not heard of it until yesterday while watching The Soup on E! (another fave of ours). So I googled it and ran through my tv guide to see when it came on- it had a few reruns that aired last night so I recorded them so that's what I am watching right now. It's great. It's definitely a T Total Train wreck when it comes to reality tv. It's kinda Real Housewives meets True Life: I'm a Southern Belle (from MTV). A few of the girls are really cute and truly cute little belles of the ball, but a few of them aren't. One of them is 32, married into money, and a two time divorcee. Not that I'm judging, but this chick wants to start a matchmaking business. Seriously!?!?! Not exactly something my mama would say defines a typical Southern Lady. Which, for a few of these girls, I use this term loosely. One good thing is that they tend to have pretty good music that plays throughout the show. There are a few songs that I have tried to Google, but can't find a play list. All in all though, it's a reality tv show so you know no matter how bad it ever gets, I will continue to watch and be a faithful follower- blog about it, fb about it, etc.
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So, now onto the elephant in the room.....I would love to tell you that I am NOT nervous, that I am NOT anxious, or worried about tomorrow....but then again actions speak louder than words and I am up at 4 am watching tv and typing my feelings out into blog world. I think maybe it is finally hitting me that everything is about to change. Raymond and I were not able to attend an actual birthing class because the Head OB Nurse is out permanently on sick leave and it happened right before our scheduled class.....there weren't any classes over at the hospital so they gave us some taped birthing classes to watch. Maybe we're just a little laid back as far as "planners" but I guess when you have a planned C Section, the fears of the unknown pretty much go out the window. I haven't been worried about distinguishing between false labor and real labor, my water breaking in the middle of a grocery store, rushing to the hospital in the middle of the night or any other fears that someone following a more "Let Mother Nature take her own course plan" For the past 6 weeks, we have pretty much known that I would be having a planned section for the sake of my health and Georgia's. Anyways, Raymond and I watched the final video last night and my only fear that I have had is about getting a spinal. I've never had one, so I don't know what to expect. I think it's just that natural fear of the unknown. But they went through in explicit detail about all the different types of anesthesia used in labor and I do feel better. I think I was worried that it would be painful, but they say it's not. I also think that the whole idea of not being able to hold my daughter for a few hours after she's born saddens me a bit. It was explained to me that until I had come out of recovery and settled in my room, I wouldn't be able to see her- so I think I am just anxious about how long it will really take. Raymond and I have asked our families and friends to hold back for just a day before coming to meet our baby girl considering today will be a long and exhausting day for us both. And everything is so up in the air and unknown we decided it might be less stressful on us if it were just the two of us and that way we wouldn't be worried about introducing our beautiful bundle to the world until we had plenty of time with her. After being in the hospital twice already, we see how quickly we get overwhelmed and how much we just really appreciate our space. So we felt like this would be the best plan for us. I guess I feel like I have this one day to just take it all in, and I can't ever go back and recreate those first moments with her.
It feels like my wedding day all over again- when I was standing in the back of the church with the doors closed, my heart beating so fast, anticipating seeing my groom for the first time waiting down at the end of the aisle for me. It's a similar feeling in that it's a moment that I know I will relive in my mind over and over again and treasure forever. I just can't wait to hold her and kiss her and see what she looks like. I have dreamed about this moment for 32 weeks now (yes, I was that girl that found out she was pregnant at 4 weeks) and I am so thankful that God has brought me (us) this far.
Off to finish packing and get all the bags together so Raymond can pack the car! Hope you all have a Marvelous Monday!! See you all soon!!!
Love, Charlotte
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